aisles (jan 2, 2025)
i wish i could live in those aisles. transit around, skipping from airport to airport in a heartbeat. shades and american coffee, suitcase and hotel views. night sky, street lights, mcdonalds, alcohol and chanson. the reflections on the floor of a subway station, loud indistinct chatter deafening and making me part of an ocean, erasing my individuality for one split second on earth.
i wish i could buy keychains, mail them to my family and keep some for myself. make concrete my grass. make people my birds. always buy local brands. train rides accompanied by nature or its death. always remember the trips with my dad. die of nostalgia each day and ressurect out of ambition.
i don't have it in me to be a cog and the world does not want me to work for itself. i can't live in transit because i'm not allowed. i can't be the wanderer i am inside.
sender (jan 9, 2025)
i got what i wanted on a platter
you whispered in my ear so tender
"i won't be stopping any time soon"
i'm proud and blinded by the sender
i felt your blood and my pupils dilate
it felt like dying on lsd
i saw the hurt and it was paradise
i hope you saw this paradise in me
acceptance (2 sep, 2025)
no matter what happens,
i can not stop loving you
i have accepted
and it does not phase me
i want to see the world through your eyes
i would give up life so you could see through mine
i would guard your choices and slaughter your opposition
and you would not see me watching from above
side by side, in sync
no acknowledgement or gratitude
i would do it all without hope
but satisfied in my lonesome
i have no desire to do it however
and i will not give you my life
what's important is, that i've made peace
with the fact that i do, and always will
love you
and you'll never know
and i'll never need
and you'll never love
and i hold no concern