aisles (jan 2, 2025)
i wish i could live in those aisles. transit around, skipping from airport to airport in a heartbeat. shades and american coffee, suitcase and hotel views. night sky, street lights, mcdonalds, alcohol and chanson. the reflections on the floor of a subway station, loud indistinct chatter deafening and making me part of an ocean, erasing my individuality for one split second on earth.
i wish i could buy keychains, mail them to my family and keep some for myself. make concrete my grass. make people my birds. always buy local brands. train rides accompanied by nature or its death. always remember the trips with my dad. die of nostalgia each day and ressurect out of ambition.
i don't have it in me to be a cog and the world does not want me to work for itself. i can't live in transit because i'm not allowed. i can't be the wanderer i am inside.
sender (jan 9, 2025)
i got what i wanted on a platter
you whispered in my ear so tender
"i won't be stopping any time soon"
i'm proud and blinded by the sender
i felt your blood and my pupils dilate
it felt like dying on lsd
i saw the hurt and it was paradise
i hope you saw this paradise in me
untitled (10 jan, 2025)
let me be your piggy bank
i bet i'll make a pretty ashtray
i'm your pet wooden plank
in confidence and bloodplay
we put our trust in violation
you can break my poise apart
it's our kind of decoration
straight from my open rotten heart